Female bullies are often more problematic than male bullies. That's because women can be very sneaky as they attempt to undermine a rival. With a smiling face, they manufacture all kinds of traps for their hapless target. Meanwhile, they stay in the background watching the plot unfold. This is known as covert bullying or covert narcissistic abuse.
Malignant narcissists who are female are found in all walks of life, even in the pews. That's why we still need to exercise discernment in church, which, sadly, is not always a place you can let your guard down.
The reason you need to be cautious in church, especially if you get involved in parish projects, is because if God is a priority in your life, you'll want to spend time in His house. Bullying would be a big distraction, at the very least. It could also result in having to change parishes, which is never an easy thing to do. Also, with increased mergers and closings, we don't always have the choice to go somewhere else.
Because I hope to shed light on the special problem of female bullying, so I started a separate blog dedicated to the problem of female malignant narcissism. There is also much overlap with another condition psychologists call histrionic personality disorder. People who suffer from these problems, which appear to be spiritual in origin, have a propensity to sow discord. Although we need to pray for them, we do not need to become involved in their drama. It's also important that we don't make the mistake of sharing secrets with people who have personality disorders, as any information gleaned can and will be used against you, at church and elsewhere.
Flickr photo by RTD Photography