Thursday, April 24, 2014

Church Chicks Rule the Roost

One of the most difficult aspects of trying to practice your faith nowadays is the problem of overbearing women who seize control of a parish. Someone once referred to these types as "church chicks." Not all women who are heavily involved in their church fit this description. Many volunteers are true Servants of God, and are absolutely delightful to be around.

But sometimes bossy women with strong narcissistic traits obtain too much power. They guard their little fiefdoms and make life miserable for anybody who gets in their way or for any other woman whom they envy. The best way to avoid becoming a target is to keep your head down and to not get too involved in church activities and church committees. Be friendly to all and maintain a healthy detachment from parish politics.

You can usually distinguish a benign personality from the more malignant type by their actions. (By their fruits you shall know them.) A "church chick" who spells trouble will typically indulge in gossip, attempting to sow discord where ever she goes. She may also display a sense of entitlement. Give her a very wide berth.

Church is supposed to be a refuge, but often it's not. There is great spiritual disorder in the world at present, and this is just another manifestation.

For a discussion of female narcissism, please visit my female bullies blog.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Forgiving Our Abusers During Lent

As Jesus was being nailed to the Cross, he uttered the words, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." This was after he was beaten and scourged, and his enemies mocked him by placing a crown of thorns on His head.

The flying monkeys who carried out the orders to execute an innocent man undoubtedly didn't comprehend the full impact of their actions in crucifying the Son of God who came into the world to save us from our sins. They were caught up in the frenzy instigated by religious leaders, who thought they'd finally be free of a "troublesome" individual who wanted to create a kingdom of the heart, rather than an earthly kingdom filled with riches and freedom from the Roman authorities.

In imitation of Christ, we also need to forgive those who make life difficult for us in church, a place that should be a refuge and a sanctuary. These poor souls who act out in God's house are truly the poorest of the poor. They really don't know what they're doing either. If they had any idea of the consequences of their actions, they'd immediately stop this aberrant behavior and get down on their knees and beg God for forgiveness. But, unfortunately, they don't have the grace to recognize the errors of their ways. They continue to sin.

However, sin has eternal consequences. They will realize this someday, hopefully not before it's too late. Because of the disorder in their souls, they desperately need our prayers. Not being able to correct their bad actions in church must be a Divine chastisement. They deserve our pity, much more than our anger.

Life is very short. Whatever sort of temporal "benefits" they derive from emotionally abusing another person, in church, of all places, will surely pass. Eventually, they will have to appear before the Throne of God, where all of us will be judged according to our works.

Crucified Jesus, have mercy on us poor sinners.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

You'll Likely be Blamed for the Church Problems

Having one or more malignant personalities in a parish, coupled with a pastor who's not a strong leader, creates a recipe for upheaval and discord. It takes just one disordered individual to create a lot of divisions, but, typically, like-minded people work in a pack. In a religious setting, a bully will often recruit his or her flying monkeys to help dole out abuse.

People with strong narcissistic traits also like to project their devious deeds onto their target. So, if they are stirring up trouble, they'll convince the pastor, and everyone else, that you're the reason there's so much division. If you want to know what you're being blamed for, all you need to do is figure out what the narcissist is doing. This is the behavior he or she is falsely accusing you of doing.

Unfortunately, once things reach this point, the atmosphere is poisoned and there's little hope for a reversal. Your best recourse is to find another place to worship. You'll be much happier once you make the switch. Although it's going to be a difficult transition, you can, perhaps, do it in stages. Just don't tell anyone where you plan to go. It's not unheard of for a vindictive malignant narcissists to try to make life difficult for you elsewhere, at least until a new target is selected.

Eventually, the pack of flying monkeys recruited by the narcissist will then devour itself. In this kingdom divided against itself, infighting will split the group into warring factions.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

The Role of the Devil in Church Divisions

If there's any kind of narcissistic abuse at church, it's a safe bet that the devil is involved. That's because he likes to split people apart and to create bad feelings among those who previously worked well together, and who should be doing only God's work here on earth.

However, by stirring up rivalries, he manages to thwart God's plans. It seems as if the devil is ever more powerful nowadays. I know some readers may not be Catholic, but there was an event involving Pope Leo XIII, back in the late 1800's, that gives us a clue as to what we're dealing with today. This holy pontiff had a vision in which he witnessed the devil talking to Jesus. The devil said "I'm going to destroy your Church." Jesus, in effect, said, "Go ahead and try."

Those of us who read the Bible know that the Church will stand tall until the end of time, and that the gates of hell will not prevail against it.

The devil told Him he needed time and power. Jesus said he could have both. In the last 100 years or so the world and the Church have undergone great upheaval. We've seen all that the devil can do, although we know his days are also numbered.

So if there is division in a parish, and someone causing trouble, we can rest assured that the evil one is behind it. The recourse is prayer and trust in God. For whatever reason, He is allowing the strike, all for a greater purpose.

Flickr photo by Oliver Tacke