Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Holiness and Being Nice to People

Years ago, a priest said something that opened my eyes. He mentioned that people who aren't nice to others are not holy. Of course, he's right, but I had never looked at it that way. We can do all kinds of devotions and even rigorous fasting and penance. However, all of this means very little if we aren't kind to our neighbor. This same message is also found in the Bible and in the Ten Commandments. The first three Commandments concern our relationship with God. The other Commandments deal with how we relate to the people that move in and out of our lives. In other words, if we love God, we will love the other people he created. And, if we don't love our neighbors, we don't really love God, despite the fact we may say we do.

This same priest also opened my eyes to another fact, which is that some people who look holy are not. Inside, they are filled with hate and rage. They take offense very easily, and they are unable to forgive. But we don't see this side right away, because it's covered with a cloak of piety.

I write about malignant narcissism on this blog and another, and I refer to it as a personality disorder or a moral disorder, a term I prefer because it brings the element of free will into the mix. Adults who commit evil deeds make the choice to harm others, even though they know it's wrong. As a Catholic, who realizes the actions of a malignant narcissist are very sinful, I firmly believe that what we're seeing is a spiritual disorder.

For a discussion about female malignant narcissists, please read my Female Bullies blog.

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