Friday, March 6, 2015

Church Bullies - What They Do to Themselves

When you're in the midst of a church mobbing, it helps to remember one thing. Eventually, God will quiet the storm that's raging. You'll emerge stronger and closer to Our Lord. Your bullies, however, have cut themselves off from His grace. Unfortunately, they are so blinded that they cannot see the serious harm they've done to themselves.

In the long run, they sabotage only themselves. The lies, innuendo and false rumors ultimately don't hurt the target. Yes, it does cause a little short-term temporal pain. But, eventually, we move on, and we realize the people who weren't loyal, and didn't stop the mobbing, were not our true friends to begin with. Some of them even had some serious personality issues of their own.

Strangely enough, we find ourselves thankful that a gang of church bullies ran us out of our parish, because the environment was so toxic. It's true that some people thrive under those circumstances. But these are the ones who cause trouble for others, which means they jeopardize their own eternal salvation.

Psychological dynamics rarely happen in isolation. If someone hates one person, they likely have a history of hatefulness and a future filled with more hatred and scapegoating.

Yes, there is forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We sincerely hope that each and every Catholic Church bully avails themselves of this opportunity. However, Jesus is a just Judge. We will all have to account for our sins. This includes mistreating others, at church.

Original Pixabay image by johnhain


  1. Wish your post had a "like" button!

    Remembering this helps take the focus off our own pain, as we realize the bullies hurt themselves far more than they hurt us. This helps us to move on, and maybe take away some of the sting of feeling we didn't get sufficient justice.

    I think my own bullies had this kind of mobbing in mind when they threatened to come to my church all the time. They even spoke to my priest after church that day, a long discussion during which I overheard the word "self-righteous."

    But I also think they found less of a help in my priest than they hoped. I went to my priest afterwards, my husband and I told him what was really going on, and later showed him the proof that one of my bullies had been convicted of child abuse. My priest also knew me for several years, and had a good opinion of me.

    After he preached that we all (ie, everyone in church in dealing with others, not just my bullies and me) should "stop poking each other," they left.

    I haven't seen them back in 2 and a half years. So sometimes things go the other way. :)

  2. Great article, and very comforting! I'm with Nyssa, I wish this post had a like button. God bless you both! <3

  3. Ethel, thanks for reading. God bless you too.